ME, 2018

We are practically at the end of the year…and what a year too!

For me, this year has been a very incredible journey! It feels like I lived 10 lifetimes in 2018! I’ve learnt a lot, I’ve grown so much (sadly, not in physical height) and I’ve finally come full circle.

I was thinking about what my last post should be for 2018 and The Spirit of God inspired me to share with you a bit about my journey(s) so far. So stick with me while I walk you through.

·         I learnt that forgiving is therapeutic: Now, I know most times it’s not easy to ‘simply forgive’ and move on, especially when you believe you are the wronged party. But do you know that it’s as easy to forgive as it is hard? What I mean is, all you have to do is LET GO, but it can be difficult to ‘just let go’ when you keep waiting for the other party to ‘come to the realization of their wrong ways’ and apologise, or in extreme cases, wanting something evil to happen to them so you can feel vindicated. Phew!  I read something once that freed me from this mindset. 

          

         

        

            Here it is below; 

<<<< If you embrace this approach to issues, you will begin to live a freer and happier life. Stop thinking “What? You are telling me to just forgive the person like that? After what he/she did?”  Yes! That’s EXACTLY what I’m telling you to do! I know it’s not so straight-forward to let things go, believe me I know, but try it and you’ll experience what I’m talking about. 

The freeing, lighter sensation of the mind, body and soul. Really, why burden yourself continuously when you can simply let go and move on?

Don’t forget too, there are two sides to every story, It might even be YOU who is in the wrong, think about that for a minute.

Which leads me to this;

·         I learnt that apologizing shows wisdom and maturity: Here are three points that sums it up correctly; 

Apologising doesn’t make you a weak person. NO! It just shows how far you’ve grown as a human, how wise you’re becoming and the good leadership qualities you’re embracing. Stop being one of those people who thinks “No way! It’s he/she who should come and say sorry first because of this/that reason” or “If I apologise, people will now say I’m a mumu or I’m weak”.  It’s a warped orientation when you consider the act of apologising as something only ‘weak/foolish people’ do. It shows how small your mind is.

Now, please understand this; apologising does not mean you must continue to be in the person’s life. There are times when the relationship has run its course or doesn’t add value to your life or only brings pain or its all manner of wrong for you. If this is the situation, apologise as the circumstance demands (That is if it’s very clear you also share blame in the wrong-doing) and move on.  And if it’s absolutely clear you have no fault in the matter, forgive and move on. This is how to become a better version of yourself, a version of you that will put joy in your life and peace in your heart always. Always remember it’s about YOU, not about the other person.

Which leads me to this one;

·         I learnt how to move on and forward: We hear the words ‘Move on’ many times. In fact, I think I’ve said it a lot of times to many people, verbally and written. But this year, God laid emphasis on the fact that moving on means moving forward. That is, actually MOVING FORWARD with your life; A change of attitude, a change of friends (if necessary), a change in location (if required), a change of goals (or in some cases, setting real goals), a change of viewpoint (positivity state of mind, that glorifies God, that gives you joy), a change in appearance (fitness goals, dressing better), a change of social activities (or in some cases, start engaging in more social activities) and the most important; A change in my relationship with God, building a stronger bond with my Creator, The Ancient of Days.

This is what moving on and forward means. Taking practical steps to make things happen, not just saying/wishing it. Believe me, it was amazing the things I experienced this year when I started putting this into practice.

And finally…

·         I (re)learnt that God only is My Supplier: My Father, My Deliverer, My Best Friend. It took a period of harsh awakenings to remember to only always put my absolute trust in God. I went through situations in my personal life and in my career where I had trusted people to help, but got ice-cold water splashed on my face, figuratively.  It took me back to when I started my journey in my career. I knew no one and had no godfather/mother to help pave the way, I remembered how God kept showing up for me because I leaned on Him alone. That was when I coined the mantra for myself ‘GOD IS MY SUPPLIER’. I trusted that He who gave me the talent will supply the work, projects and Clients, that He will open doors for me. And He did. Magnificently, beautifully.

Going through stuff this year led me full circle back to that state of mind again. I really thank God because when I Let Go and Let God, the testimonies came flooding in! Boy did God show up! Beyond my wildest imaginations!

So I end 2018 – through all the ups and downs, the challenges, the lessons, the victories –  with a smile on my face and a grateful heart to God. I’m grateful for all the growing up I had to do this year. I’m grateful for the journey I’m on and I’m happily giddying up to meet 2019.

Hopefully, this post has blessed you in one way or the other. If you’re struggling with anything, I pray that God shows up powerfully for you in that situation before the year ends. AMEN!

What was your 2018 like Darlings? Tell me, I’d love to hear.

The Social Ant

             Recently, I was very bored and found myself studying a long (really long) line of ants as they moved in one accord towards…I don’t know where.

I tried to follow the very long line up to where they were going because I was curious about their destination, but the line disappeared from sight at the back of the wardrobe. So short of ripping my wardrobe off the wall, I had to give up.

It made me smile though to observe their level of dedication to their task. I wondered what they were up to, where they were going, what they talked about, who was the team leader? Who got them to stay in line with such intense dedication and discipline? Then I wondered if they were all attending an event? Or were they migrating to their new home?

Ants, to me, have always been such sophisticated creatures. Their level of intelligence is mind-blowing in how they are so coordinated. To think they are one of the tiniest creatures on earth? Amazing!
However, today’s post is not mainly about how disciplined ants are, I want to focus more on another aspect of the ant that I believe hasn’t really been explored before:

Ants are social creatures. 
Ants don’t stay in one place for long. They travel.  I don’t think they move around so much because they are being chased. No, I believe ants move around a lot because they want to. Because they like to. Because it’s interesting and healthy when you change location sometimes, to see what else your world has to offer, to see what more is out there, to see things from other perspectives.

When last did you go somewhere different? Meet someone new? Force yourself to have a real conversation with a stranger you admire other than liking and commenting on their Instagram or Facebook posts? When last did you put your phone aside and actually LOOK UP/AROUND and SEE your environment, the people around you? Do you realize you don’t even have to go very far to have a new experience? There are many places you can go to, pay a visit to, to enjoy something refreshing.

At the very least, leave your house, go sit at any Recreational Park, put your phone down (Unless it’s to take a selfie with the new friend you’ve just made), look around you, enjoy the breeze, breathe in, breathe out, buy popcorn to chew and just be in tune with nature, say hello to someone (it won’t take anything from you to offer a greeting or start a conversation), smile deliberately, laugh at the silliest antics (don’t be so hard up and conscious of yourself that even to really laugh in public is a social faux pas for you). Do this for a few hours, then you can go back home.

Ants love team bonding.
If you take time out to study a line of ants going back and forth, you’d notice that at intervals, the ants coming back, stop to chat (I imagine) with the ants moving forward. I want to believe they’re just stopping to say hi because it’s nice to do so no matter how busy you are.

When last did you spend time with a group (a group can be just three of you, it doesn’t have to be 10) of genuine friends? I’m not talking about you guys sitting around a table and tapping on your phones while sharing a box of pizza. That’s not ‘spending time’. I mean actual talking, gisting, laughing, catching up, yapping each other, having fun?

These days, even companies have to forcefully organize weekend events like Team Bonding activities just to force colleagues who work together every day,  to actually get along and love one another. I mean, if you say you are a team, why do you need to be coerced or forced to bond? Doesn’t it defeat the whole meaning of ‘team’ in the first place? Just sad. Meanwhile we have the tiny ant doing it effortlessly.

Ants enjoy team work. 
There’s nothing as funny and as beautiful to see, than observing a team of ants working and coordinating perfectly to lift a grain of rice to their home.

 If you’ve never seen ants moving things before, then PLEASE go look for one, even if you have to search for a video of it on YouTube. Ants are the best at team work, no one does it better than them (In my opinion anyway). I believe the reason why they seem to be so successful at it is because they get along so well. It’s all about the group’s success, not personal gain or fame.

When last did you put personal interests aside and lend your strength (physically or mentally) to a good cause? There’s a lot happening around us, a lot we can contribute to, a lot of good causes we can be a part of, a lot of good ideas in our head that we know someone else might just need to move ahead, when was the last time you helped someone (or people)? Especially someone (or people) who can’t pay back?

And you did it just because it was the right thing to do, not for Instagram pics or any other social media nod to ‘how good you are’ ?  You know, putting a smile on people’s faces is more therapeutic for the soul than sitting in front of a Therapist. Don’t get me wrong, seeing a Therapist is good, talking to your Pastor/Priest is good too, but making others smile, cry for joy, solving problems for someone else when you have the power and means to do so? Incredible mood lifter!

You say you are a social person, but are you? Are you truly? What does ‘Social’ mean to you?

Proverbs 6:6; Go to the ant thou sluggard; consider her ways and be wise.

Cheers to the Happy life Darlings!

BEING BAD

You know that feeling : You are surrounded by a lot of ‘Bad People’ who are doing extremely well in life, 

But you - --you with  your strict moral codes, good behavior, conscience which keeps knocking you before you even do anything - -- you’re living from being broke to little salary to a little-above-average salary to barely-okay savings, hoping for the day when it would ‘all make sense’, when you can finally break through, “when will I start living the way I want, not the way I must?” You keep wondering.

I’ve been there many times over –and counting. I’ve been in that place where I ask “what’s the use of being good all the time, holding on to morals, when a lot of people I see around me don’t care about morals and are having the best time of their lives, living wealthy, living large?!”

There are times I’ve been tempted to just go ahead and do something crazy, something out-of-character, something maybe naughty, something I know will guarantee me money, plenty of it. So finally no more tight budget! No more reminding myself to spend wisely! No more telling myself to do the right thing! No more getting up and walking away (emotionally and physically) when the temptation becomes too much! I mean, wouldn’t that just be fun?  To just leave principles and do WHATEVER! Right?...*Deep Sigh*

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not Lil Miss Perfect with the constantly best behavior. Trust me, I’ve had days when I say to myself, in shame,   “Shite! Was that you? Did you just do that? You know that wasn’t right, yet you did it anyway”  But later I deal with it, repent if needed,  and move on. So I’m not saying I’m good all the time. Who is?

All I’m saying is that as much as the world I live in today, through every media; Print, electronics, through every technology, through every encouraged (and often rewarded) negative behavior, screams in my face “Come on Girl, what are you waiting for?! Just do it, no one cares but you! Stop being old-fashioned and uptight!”  As much as I hear that in every way possible, what makes me walk away from the alluring temptation of ‘being bad’? are these questions that nag me:

• ·         WHAT WILL JESUS THINK? (WWJT)     
• ·         WILL I BE ABLE TO LOOK MYSELF IN THE MIRROR TOMORROW?
• ·         WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, WHO WOULD I HAVE BECOME? Or just someone who did whatever to ‘get stuff’?

I know it might be easy to just sneer and convince oneself that it doesn’t matter. As long as there’s money in the bank and all the ‘important people’ are one’s friend, then it doesn’t matter. But it does Mes Amis, it does.  

I’m so grateful to God for my work which allows me travel from place to place, I have met people across cultures and ethnicities who have shared stories with me of losing pieces of themselves  until there was almost nothing left (I’m talking emotionally, the important parts, the parts you can’t touch or see), because they were tired of waiting and wanted to own the world now. Often times, some of them still have all that money, a lot of it, and maybe still hold sway in many circles. But at the end, the money no longer brought joy, happiness, even contentment to them. No peace for the soul. They actually envied my own life and wish they could go back and re-do a lot of things.

And that’s where I’m coming to:

 You can have it all in this world and still not have it at all.     CAUTION!!

Money, Power, Fame, The 'Right' friends? Great stuff, and with a lot of ‘smart moves’ and solid cash, very possible to have.

Joy, Happiness, Integrity, Real people around you, Peace, Contentment, True love, Self control? Great stuff too, but no amount of money can buy these. Even if you drain Bill Gates’ bank account. They are never for sale, you either have them or you don’t.

Understand something, I’m not one of those that preach “It’s okay to suffer in life, your reward is in Heaven”  NO WAY! I want to enjoy this God-given life and I know I’ll also absolutely enjoy the Hereafter by His grace. Here on Earth, I want to be wealthy, influential, live a great, fun life and leave a strong legacy behind.  And by God’s grace, that will soon be my reality (and I pray this prayer for you too Darlings!) AMEN.

 But I want to go about this life the right way, even if the journey is tough, I know the destination to greatness, through God’s guidance and leading, will well be worth it.

• ·         I don’t want to lose myself because I’m running after wealth and fame.
• ·         I don’t want to lose the essence of who I am, who I was created to be, because I desperately want to ‘make it’.
• ·         I want to be able to look at myself, after all is said and done, and still recognize the girl staring back at me in the mirror. I want to have that sense of pride in myself.

•         So ask yourself this; Being Bad, is it truly worth it? Read this post, then read it again darlings. Think on it deeply.  God is trying to caution us on something.  

The pathway to happiness shouldn’t be littered with a corpse of ‘The-person-of-integrity-you-used-to-be’.  

Let’s take new steps this October (You and I together) and have the most amazing of months.

I love ya! But God loves you more!

Cheers to great decisions and new beginnings!

FREEDOM!

What is Freedom?

It reminds me of Pharell Williams’  ‘FREEDOM’. If you haven’t heard this song, go download it. I first heard it in the movie ‘Now You See Me 2’ and fell in love.

A little digression: I’m VERY selective about what I choose to listen to. Music is very much a part of my life, it inspires me, it soothes me, it plays over and over in my head and can be my mojo for the whole day. I’m not one of those who go “Yeah, I don’t care much for the song, but I just loooove the beats”. The lyrics of a song matter to me, ‘cause I want to be able to sing along, out loud and in my head. It’s just impossible to sing along to lyrics about self-glorification, a lot of sex, money and just plain nasty stuff. That’s why I’m an oldies girl, a bit of country, some jazz, carefully selected Naija tracks and banging gospel music. But this is me Dears, you do you and what’s comfortable for you.

Now, back to topic.

So, what is freedom to you? Is it-

• When you get that new car you’ve always wanted?
• When you’re living in your dream house?
• When you can go on that holiday you’ve been dreaming of?
• When you can finally spend like you’ve been imagining without being worried about savings, ‘cause your account is now fully blue?
• When you now have a rich boyfriend/girlfriend, or just plain have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
• When your weight is finally sorted and you now look like Halle Berry (I’m thinking James Bond’s Halle Berry), or for the guys, you can now give Chris Hemsworth a run for his money?
• When you are finally accepted in the in-group, rolling with the it-crowd and attending all the on-point parties?
• When your wardrobe is swimming with colours, shades and styles of different clothing, shoes and bags (or man-purses as the case may be).

Is that freedom? Does it finally bring the joy, peace and victory that is associated with freedom?

I found various definitions of freedom, but this is one I liked the most, it’s simple, easy to remember and hits the mark for me; Freedom is the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved. 

In my opinion, I believe Freedom is more a mindset thing, it’s more mental, than physical. I don’t think being free has all to do with material stuff, acquisitions, wealth, environment, people and their approval.
Of course, I know living in a prison and living in your house are two different things. I get that. But I put it to you, that you can have all the things you need, all the things you want, all the right people around you and still be in bondage or caged. And in a weird way, someone living in prison (and has learnt to make the best of his/her situation) might have more joy and happiness, feel a sense of ‘freedom’ than you.  Do you see where I’m going with this now?...Good. Let’s keep exploring.

Here’s a scenario: You were the ugly duckling in secondary school, you had two or three ‘uncool’ friends, zero social acceptability, no talent to even display. Then fast-forward to years later, You are now grown up, puberty (which is God's handiwork on you) was very nice to you; you filled out in all the right places, you look really good, you now have correct friends, you even attend a cool church. Now everyone wants you at their gigs, you’re an Instagram lord/lady, if you even post something as simple as ‘HEY’, in five minutes, 500 likes. You love this, who wouldn’t? Finally, the center of attention. You thrive on this, it has become the highlight of every day for you; Being liked, being wanted, being accepted, hearing all the right stuff from your crowd. That’s what makes you happy, what makes you whole…then SNAP! Someone cooler, finer, more in-touch, more on-point, more everything, moves into your world, your circle. At first, you’re like ‘Whatever’, then it begins;

• The people around you start comparing you to this person. And find you lacking.
• People are not really ‘liking’ your pictures and posts so much, and even when they do, they find it lacking. And shade you on your own page. What’s going on?
• The cooler you try to be, the more this other person effortlessly one-ups you. You start coming up lacking. IN EVERYTHING! Oh no!!

(Insert fast-paced action movie soundtrack here) You panic, run around, try to form a clique of loyal friends, try to act like it doesn’t matter, then you start back-biting, gossiping, plotting, trying to discredit this other person, trying to let everyone know you’re cooler, better and sticking with you will be a dream come true. You throw parties so you can show people you still know what’s up…and the crazy acts go on. PHEW!

You see how pathetic this looks? You see what life has become for you? I mean, come on! There’s a lot more to life than these little cages we sometimes like to live in. How can you say you’re free, yet you’re running around like a rabbit wanting EVERYONE ELSE and EVERYTHING ELSE  to validate you so you can feel relevant? Feel like a human being?...ARE YOU FOR REAL?!

Who are you really?  Where is the joy in just being you? With your imperfections, mistakes and all. How did you lose that? Who did you give the key to your life?  By now, we all really should be tired of living everyone else’s lives, ideas, ideals and opinions. What do YOU really want from life?

Let me tell you what I want; To be happy, joyful, play like a child when I want to, laugh when I want to. And laugh at myself when the situation warrants. Pray whenever I want (I know I can’t do without my connection to God), Sing whenever I want, Eat what I want (and go on a diet, or to the Gym when my jeans stop fitting), be sad when the mood dictates but quickly snap out of that and watch a good comedy so my mood can be light again. I want to be great at what I do, but keep learning every day even when I’m old and weary. I don’t want to base my happiness and freedom of being on what is perfect/not perfect in my life or how many things I’ve been able to acquire/not acquire.

All I’m saying is, I want to have a healthy mind, a cage-free mind, and I think you should too. Nothing should have so much power over you that you can’t truly be happy unless that thing/emotion/person approves. The only Being that deserves that kind of power is God. He is the only One that loves unconditionally.

THAT, my darlings, is true FREEDOM!

Remember, Freedom is the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved.

Catch ya later!

MARS, Here we come!

Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like to live on the beautiful planet of Mars? Where there is peace, tranquility and love.

Just imagine us strolling across the vast red plains, everyone smiling, everyone happy, showing love to, and sharing love with one another? Imagine a world where people are not greedy, selfish, desperately wicked, immoral, unfeeling, uncaring, hateful, judgmental, self-righteous, mean?

Close your eyes and dream with me for a minute. Hmmmm…beautiful, right? That’s what we need right now. A new world.

Of course, I can’t say exactly what the living condition on Mars will be like. Yeah, I know there are pictures on the internet, but no HUMAN BEING has actually been there. We only see the pictures sent by the machines and NASA Rovers...

 but I digress, space lesson is for another time…back to topic!

I’m tired of the constant and consistent bad news. I’m tired of wondering why.

Why is this happening? Why is that going wrong? Why would he/she do that? Why did they behave that way? Why can’t they do the right thing? Why the constant pain and tears? And then there’s the ultimate why; Why can’t God destroy all the evil people so there would be peace in the world?!!

 It can be soooooooo overwhelming these days. With the way things are going, it’s beginning to look like the most expensive commodity is: JOY. And we all know no amount of money can buy joy.

So I sat down, stared into space for a long time and finally got an epiphany, an inspiration; I’ve decided that the solution is Mars. Yeah, I said it. MARS!

But I’m not crazy Darlings, when I say Mars, I mean it as a mindset. Create your own Mars.

What does Mars mean to me?

• Surrounding myself with positive people. Those who truly, really care about me. Those who show it, not just say it. Positive vibes.

• Building my spiritual base. We humans have to understand that at our core, we are spiritual beings. The physical can only take us so far. Trust me, the flesh isn’t that strong. It’s the spirit that moves the wheels. As for me, my spiritual base is God, through His son Jesus Christ, guided always by the Holy Spirit. And I need that spirit base now more so than ever. I’m not talking religion and activities, I’m talking about building a stronger/deeper relationship with God.

• Making time to have fun. ALWAYS. Go on a trip (It doesn’t even have to be outside the country). Meet new people. Explore new cultures. Enjoy sceneries. Take pleasure in the earth’s natural resources and the beauty it has to offer. Eat delicious meals. Try out new foods. Read a good book. Smile. Laugh. Play. Watch a good comedy, enjoy fantastic series. Be goofy, be fun.

• Walk away from unpleasantness; negative people, pessimistic crowds, rumour-mongers, those who take pleasure in spreading bad news, uncomfortable situations, unprofitable pressure, situations/people who always want to take from you physically and emotionally, but never give back. Don’t drain yourself or bleed dry trying to please others.

The point of this gist? CREATE YOUR OWN WORLD! I’m not asking you to live in a bubble, I’m saying you need to structure and develop the positive universe that is absolutely needed to be joyful, irrespective of the happenings around us today.

Yes, things are going from crazy to crazier. Yes, those in power have a lot to answer for. Yes, there are many many things that could be done better…but do you intend to spend Every. Single. Day  sorrowing over Every. Painful. Reality? I sure hope not.

You need to protect your mental well-being too. That has never been more important than it is right now. I’m advising you to stop focusing only on all the negatives and start building the positives. Acknowledge the fact that stuff is messed up but jealously guard your mind and emotional space.

Enough of- “Everything is just bad” “There’s no hope for me/for this country/for this continent anymore” “It has finished for me/for us in this world” “let this world just end, so I/we can have peace”

Subscribe more to- “It’s crazy, but I choose to be happy” “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me” “I don’t care if I look silly to you, I choose to be optimistic about my life and options” “I can’t save the world, but I can do the best I can wherever/whenever I can”  -- Now this is the mindset of someone who finally gets it.

Sad reality; We can’t fix the world. We can only fix our minds first, then be emotionally healthy and balanced enough to give our best to ourselves and our society.

Mars is the new frontier (Cue in Star-Trek theme song). CREATE YOUR OWN MARS.  #CYOM

Cheers to the new life Darlings!

THE FORGOTTEN

May is almost gone and this month has been something else. The experiences have been like never before. I’ve grown so much this month, I’ve learnt a lot. I will tell you all about May 2018 in another post.

First of all, I must give props to Britain's  Royal Family for planning such an elegant wedding (I think I enjoyed this one, more than William’s own). The New Duchess of Sussex looked beautiful, happy and they both looked so in-love. I wish them the best and hoping twins for the couple! (All-day Saturday May 19, I was tuned to CNN from 7:30am watching every single bit, you’d think they paid me not to dare miss a moment. But what can I say? I love Love).

Now, on to today’s thought;

                     THE FORGOTTEN
‘The Forgotten’ is the person who is standing by the large glass window, looking out, at the rest of the world zooming and zapping by, while he/she stares on for hours. It’s not because he/she wants to be standing there but because he/she feels held back, stuck, no opportunity, nowhere to go.

 ‘The Forgotten’ is the person scrolling through dozens of Instagram and Facebook pictures, reading twitter posts and seeing other people ‘enjoying their lives’. It seems the world has moved on, people are having fun, but in the space of all that joy, change and positive outcomes for others, he/she has been left behind or left out. No hope for a brighter tomorrow. Yeah? NO!  SNAP OUT OF IT!

Let me warn you, ‘The Forgotten’ is a mindset, an emotional state of being, a feeling that continues to wrap itself around one’s mind until it becomes an entity and a Principality all on its own.

WHEN YOU THINK YOU ARE FORGOTTEN
You know that feeling you get when the rest of the world is moving on and forward, breaking strides, achieving milestones but you are still stuck on the same spot you’ve been in for years, nothing much to talk about as regards progress in your life. You know what I mean?  Yeah, I know you do.
I’ve been there. I’m sure many of you have been also. It’s a very bitter place to be. It’s a place where you wonder ‘Who you offended in this life’ that has refused to ‘let you go’. (Where you begin to wonder which one of your ‘village people’ is strongly behind this)

Unfortunately, I don’t have the perfect solution to fix this mindset. If I did, I would bottle it up, package it neatly and sell to the world. I would be an instant zillionaire, I know MANY PEOPLE need this.  Especially in this crazy 21st Century reality.

But what I’ve found that works in times like this (and I hope and pray it works for you if you’re currently struggling with this mindset) is this;

• Stop thinking about all of it alone. It’s too much of a burden to bear on your own. Go find someone, people you can earnestly talk to; no sugar-coating of details, it’s not a press interview, it’s you baring your heart to someone. It helps to talk about it. Trust me on this, I KNOW. And if you don’t have anyone to talk to about what you’re going through, talk to me. I’m not just saying that to be politically correct, I mean it. I won’t judge you, I will listen to you, be the friend you need and the both of us will find a way to work through it all. Here’s my email; ronke.gbede@gmail.com.
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• Stop selling yourself short. You are more than you think you are, even if it doesn’t look like it at the moment. You are more beautiful than you give yourself credit for. You are an amazing, intelligent being. You are not as fat as you think you are (Stop glaring at yourself in the mirror!). You are not as thin as you think (stop grimacing over your shape!). You are so much more than the negative words and comments you’ve been paying attention to. You are a complete and whole person. You are someone’s type, someone’s leader, someone’s desired wife/husband, someone’s precious best friend, someone’s mother/father, an inventor, a problem-solver. I’m not psyching you up, I’m telling you who you are. So stop trying to fit into the world’s view of ‘Perfect’ or ‘normal’. No great person (and you can google as many of them in history) was ever considered perfect or normal. You belong to the league of Extra-ordinary People!
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• Get rid of the unnecessary, poisonous people around you. Move away from what you don’t want. It’s not by force to have 20 friends who slay together, but don’t know how to pray together or to hold one another up in times of crisis. You can’t be the friend everyone wants when things are going great, but everyone avoids you when you are down and going through emotional roller-coasters. You need to wean yourself of this life-style. If it’s presently impossible to physically move away, for one genuine reason or the other, then move away in your mind. Find a ‘Safe Place’. A Safe Place can be someone positive to reach out to, someone you can be real with, that you can talk to, that you know will always have your back. Or it can be something you do, a talent you have that takes your mind off what is currently going on around you and soaks you into something else, an escape; for example; drawing, singing, writing, even volunteer work. For me, I prefer the former; talking to someone. Getting to blow off steam by talking HELPS A WHOLE LOT. I pray you have someone in your life you can reach out to like this. If you don’t, my offer still stands. You have my email address now.
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• BREATHE. IN. OUT. IN. OUT. JUST BREATHE. It’s not as bad as you think. You are the only one that has the power to give up completely. Nothing can pull you down totally except you let it. Don’t shut the door on hope. Don’t be overwhelmed by helplessness. God hasn’t forgotten you. He hasn’t forgotten all your prayers, fasting, groaning. This isn’t the end of it all. There’s something spectacular for you. It’s been cooking and you’re about to get served. 

Stay Strong My Dear, Keep your head up.

Have a blessed week Darlings!

MARCH, MY BOOT CAMP.

We’ve successfully scaled through the month of March.

I thank God for the experiences, the ups and downs, the lows and highs and everything in between.

For this post, I’ll like to share some of last month’s experiences with you. My hope is that it inspires you, interests you or at least, make you laugh.

IN MARCH;

• I told myself no more toiling and slaving away for people who don’t appreciate me or what I do. Henceforth, I will focus more on building my own dream; my career and everything that has to do with it. Fast-forward to a few days later, I get a call from a friend who needs my help for a production. I was excited and eager to help this friend out, I brought in everything I’ve got to back up this project. I bought into the “Let’s do this together, we’re a family” speech. Then the “I don’t have money” charade and avoidance tactics began. And of course, I was at the receiving end of it all.  Very soon, I found myself broke, disappointed and terribly pissed off. I could almost hear my spirit telling me “Ronke, you never learn. Why did you get involved in something without watching your back? How do you like your situation now?” Painful Lesson learned; NEVER EVER neglect to protect your interest 100%, especially in business. Put sentiments aside, do your job (or duties) very well and keep it moving.

• Then I told myself I want to become someone who never lets negative situations get to her; no more grudge-holding or malice-keeping, just pretend you don’t hear or see it (‘it’ being anything that will/might annoy me). You know the saying; see no evil, hear no evil…that sorta thing. All of a sudden, it was like everyone around me (family members included) were out to frustrate me. I tried to play the ‘you don’t affect me’ game, but at a time, I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I sparked! 

        

Then I was disappointed in myself; why did I get so angry? I hate being angry. Yes, anger is healthy at times, but when you’ve bottled in so much, you end up flaring up unnecessarily over the tiniest infraction. Then, you start getting weird looks from everyone around. You can almost hear their thoughts; “Why is she so angry? Just because someone moved a spoon?” “Is that how she is?” “Na wa o. Common say persin sneeze, she dey vex. Na so life be?”. While I tried to make restitution, I learnt my lesson: No matter how ‘tough’ or ‘disciplined’ you think you are, you are not that strong. You can achieve anything you set your mind to ONLY by God’s grace. Ask for God’s help always. He is The One who will give you the peace and strength you need to thrive in anything, anywhere and with anyone.

• Also, I decided to be much more friendly. I was thinking; ‘Ronke, you really should make more friends, explore more, pull more people into your life’. Soon, in my bid to be friendly, I met a stalker. At first, it was kinda charming, and even when the ‘stalkery’ tendencies started manifesting, I laughed, it was funny, seemed cute…until it got weird and disturbing.

     

All my brave moves, expert manoeuvres and firm push didn’t work. When I was tired of trying to figure it out and fix it myself, desperate to escape this Stalker, I prayed to God for help. God had a brilliant (really funny) way of stepping in and things cleared up. (I know, I know, I’m skimming off the top, not giving full details, sorry about that…okay, if you want the real story, no holds barred, send me an email, I’ll tell you how it all went down). Lesson learned; There’s one thing being friendly and there’s one thing being foolish. I was foolish in how I handled the situation from the onset. I must always stay true to myself and trust my gut feeling more. Also, Stalkers ARE NOT CUTE!

I could go on and on, tell you about a Whatsapp group I found myself in, that turned out to be full of  randy adults with perverted tendencies, or my gluttony phase where I just couldn’t stop eating (it was like I had never seen food before), or some other situations I think are too personal to share here (Don’t be mad, I can be private like that). I had QUITE the time of it in March! I learnt a lot and grew up some more.

You see, when we pray for wisdom, knowledge and understanding, I believe these life experiences are God’s way of teaching us, developing us while answering our prayer. That is wisdom, it is knowledge and definitely understanding.

So far, April has been pretty cool, I thank God. But stay frosty, who knows? I just might have a different type of shuttle ride this month. I’ll keep you posted Darlings!

Remember; Sky is the beginning, the universe is vast, keep moving on and up, God’s got you.