Why So Serious?

I’ve always loved comedy.

It’s therapeutic for me. As far back as I can recall, comedy is one genre that I never get tired of; reading or watching it. When I was little, I remember being introduced to Frank Spencer by my parents. We’d all sit for hours and watch it back-to-back, laughing our heads off at Frank’s antics. Laughter is beautiful. They’re right to say it’s the best medicine. (By the way, if you don’t know who Frank Spencer is or as the show was called ‘Some Mothers Do Have Them’, then you and I need to have a LONG TALK).

So for today’s post, I scoured the internet looking for the funniest jokes out there to make your day and week. I hope one (or two…or three…or four) resonates with you and leave a fond smile on your face all week. Enjoy!

Teacher: "Kids, what does the fluffy chicken give you?"

Students: "Eggs!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pink pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Students: "Homework!"

Most of the time,  when you cry,  nobody notices the tears you shed. Most of the time, when you're facing trouble, nobody feels your pain. But try farting in public just one time!

A duck walks into a bar.

 It asks the barkeeper: “Do you have bread?”

Bartender: “No.”

Duck: “Do you have bread?”
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Bartender: “NO!”
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Duck: “Do you…”

Bartender: “LISTEN! I HAVE NO BREAD AND IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME, I’M GONNA NAIL YOU TO THAT WALL!!!”

Duck: “Do you have nails?”

Bartender: “NO!”

Duck: “Do you have bread?”

Have a great week Dears!!

About Yam Fries

Persistence. The dictionary defines it as the act of continuing in an opinion or course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.

A research defines it as the quality that allows someone to continue doing something or trying to do something even though it is difficult or opposed by other people.

I’ll simply say Persistence is you wanting something badly enough that you don’t stop, don’t get distracted until you’ve gotten it.

Travel with me on this journey;

You want to eat yam fries, you have a picture in your head of nicely fried, well-spiced yam.

You start by cutting the tuber of yam into slices, but along the line, the knife gets blurred, so you go and re-sharpen it. Now, it’s time to slice off the  peel , you start doing that too, but along the line, you press too hard on the handle and it breaks off. You feel a little frustrated, but you go look for another knife and voila! You’re back on course. You keep un-peeling until you’re done, then you cut into big chunks and rinse well, singing a song, imagining the finished product right?

Now, you cut them into thin slices and prepare to fry. Then you discover you’re out of spices for the yam and oil for frying… and guess what?! It’s raining heavily, so you can’t step out to buy anything until the rain stops. You wait…and wait…and wait…and wait…finally it stops. Perhaps at this time, you’re wondering if you should just soak garri instead, settle for something else, as long as belle full abi? You can just pack your raw yam slices into the freezer. But if you don’t, on we go.

You grab your umbrella and go outside into the drizzling rain. You buy your spices, and if you find yourself in some annoying shop? They’ll tell you they don’t have change. So you wait for change until FINALLY they have. Then off to buy vegetable oil and rush home. Now, you heat up the oil, but in a few seconds the fire goes off and you discover you’re out of cooking gas!  Do you give up?.. Yes? …No?... If no, let’s roll.

You shout, scream, rant, rave, vent, ask God “wetin be dis na?!”...then you pick up your gas cylinder to go buy some.  You get to the gas place and discover a long queue, sighing heavily, you join the queue. While waiting, someone on queue strikes up a conversation with you. From a seemingly simple conversation, you and this person make a strong connection; it could be business, a job, or relationship, or a brilliant idea. Now, you forget all about waiting in line and all the stress you’ve been through, you’re extremely glad you came out at that particular time. Getting back home, you’re able to fry the yam to your heart’s content.

At the end, while you’re seated on that sofa, legs on the table, big smile on your face, watching the latest installment of Marvel’s Avengers, your heart is full of joy because you didn’t just get the food you dreamed about, your life changed too through the connection you made. DOUBLE BLESSING!
That’s what persistence is. Staying the course despite what (or who).

 My Dears, how badly do you want your yam fries?

Have a blessed day and fantastic week Darlings!

IN YOU

PEACE - Simple word, easy to say, easy to spell…but not so easy to achieve sometimes.

One can say “I’m at peace with my neighbours, I’m at peace with my friends, family members, colleagues, I smile at everybody”

Good, I hear you, but are you at peace with the most important person: YOU? There are so many people walking around with big smiles on their faces and charming personalities but you would get a sense of the turmoil in their hearts and minds by the amount of anxiety and fear displayed when confronted with a situation (often, that has to do with themselves).

I think I hear someone say “Not me, I’m not like that. I’m at peace with myself”. If you are, that’s brilliant and you definitely have my respect, but before I praise you further, let me ask these questions, just so you and I can test and see.

• 1.       What’s the last thing you think about at night before going to bed?
• 2.       What goes on in your head when there’s nothing (no TV, Radio, Friends, Work, Music) to distract you? What’s happening up there when it’s just you?
• 3.       Do you often need people around you to achieve some level of happiness?
• 4.       Do you get your self-worth, self-validation from social network sites? i.e. is it number of ‘likes’, ‘shares’ or ‘comments’ that make you feel you’re somebody?
• 5.       When you look at yourself in the mirror, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Or do you just avoid mirrors altogether?

The answers to these questions are up to you and I. And if we answer truthfully, the experience would be like looking at yourself through a microscope. Inner peace is very important, you can’t source peace from others, all you’ll get is a few hours (or minutes) of happiness until you have to be by yourself again. You want peace? It begins with you. Work on yourself, work on your mind, it’s not something you force to happen; it’s a State of Consciousness you unconsciously acquire after consciously working on it for a period of time. *wink wink*

Stop holding on to things you can’t control: You can’t control your life; You can’t fix the world; You can’t make people love you; You can’t force them not to judge you; You can’t be the best at everything; You will make mistakes, it’s what makes you human; You can’t always have bright and sunny days, it has got to rain sometimes. You know the only thing you can control (at least to a large extent)? Your emotions, how you think and respond to people and situations. Why not begin to work on you?

Make today your Peace Day. Try it, you’ll see it works, then start making it a habit.

I wish you joy, I wish you laughter, but most importantly, I wish you PEACE.

'TWAS MY FIRST TIME

A few close friends know this story, but I want to share it with my newly expanded circle of great friends. I hope you glean something noteworthy from it.

You all know I’m a Writer right? If you didn’t, now you do. It’s what I do for a living, it’s what pays the bill.  I’ve had a very interesting roller coaster ride but I thank God for where He’s brought me and where’s He’s taking me to.

The story I want to share is about my first Writers’ Workshop.  A Writers’ Workshop:  Writers come together to temporarily live/meet in the same place, for a period of time, to brainstorm, create, develop and script stories for a particular media project; it could be TV, Radio or any other medium. Permit me if I don’t go into details of the many many things a Writers’ Workshop (aka Writers’ Boot Camp) entails, it’s not what I want to tell you about. (Interested in more information about Writers Workshop?  send me a mail, I promise to reply)

Back to our story: I had only started learning what writing, in its entirety, is all about. My script writing skills were still very weak, I was learning everything from internet research and trying to understand. Imagine my joy when I saw an advert on TV about a production company looking for writers, I sent a script as part of my application and I got a call back, they actually took me?! Rookie me?! I was over the moon! The world felt like a brighter and very beautiful place all of a sudden. I went in for an interview, it was quite brief, the Coordinator of the Workshop, a well-known name in the entertainment industry, was impressed by the write-up I had done and wanted me on the project. Amazing! I was good to go!

Fast forward the part where I share the good news to family, pack my things and arrive at the Workshop venue. I love making friends, meeting people, so I was fascinated by all the strange new faces. I got settled in the room allocated to me and prepared to learn all I can and have some fun.

The first work day of the Workshop? I learnt a lot, understood what was expected of me and figuratively rolled up my sleeves for work. I should have known it was about to go downhill and all because I didn’t ‘play ball’ with the Coordinator. I don’t need to go into details about ‘play ball’,  Y’all know what I mean right? Good. Moving on, the rest of the workshop days went like this:

A large group of writers seated together for a session.

Coordinator: Ronke, have you come up with a story for so-so character?”

*Me, happily gets up with my note book of ideas*

Me: I think it would be great if the character does blah blah blah and…

Coordinator cuts in before I’m through.

Coordinator: That’s very stupid. What a stupid idea, can’t you think? Didn’t you hear what I said yesterday? Were you even listening? (Dramatic sigh) Can anyone save us, so we don’t end up having a bad morning. Someone else please.

Now, everyone in the room is giving me weird looks, avoiding my eyes and stuff, no one wants to associate with ‘the castigated one’. The rest of the workshop, until the last week, was like that; I would give an idea, submit my story and he will thoroughly shut it down. The painful part was that others would suggest really terrible ideas, or not even suggest at all, and he would praise their efforts or encourage them. I knew why he was doing this, but I couldn’t just walk away and say “That’s it! No more!” I was scared to give up, I had just begun my career, I couldn’t afford to give up now so I sucked it in and bore it. I guess I was spared in the last week because his attention moved on to someone else, who welcomed the ‘relationship’.

It was painful. My first professional experience as a writer and I couldn’t seem to do anything right, my stories were not good enough, my ideas were constantly rejected, I started doubting my ability to even write, I started wondering if this was my calling. Did God really give me this talent or am I just fooling myseIf? I went through that, went back home and didn’t tell anyone about it. In my mind, if I talk about it, it would somehow mean I’ve failed. Then, I was still dealing with trying to convince my parents I was making the right career move, deciding to become a Professional Writer as opposed to getting a ‘real job’. So, when they asked me “How was it?” I smiled and said “It was great, I learnt a lot”.  After I went through a period of blaming God, I realised there were blessings too; that was where I learnt how to use screenwriting software,  it was where I promised myself I’d work very hard to become great at what I do.

What am I trying to draw out from this? In life, sometimes you have the best laid plans, so sure you’ve carefully checked everything, you’re taking the right step, Michael Jackson’s ‘You gotta be starting something’ is playing in your head and all that. Then, you take that long awaited, intricately planned step and …SPLASH!! You crash. It leaves you reeling, wondering what went wrong? Why? Was there something more you could have done? Did you miss the signs? Didn’t you pray enough?... My Dears, those questions? They just depress you further. I believe when things happen that way, it’s to make you stronger, getting you ready for a future you can’t see right now.

STOP BLAMING YOURSELF; for the wrong decisions that came back to bite you in the butt, for the right decisions that made an about-face and stabbed you in the gut, stop blaming yourself when things don’t work out. Stop blaming God too, if you knew what He had planned for you, you wouldn’t.  Just KEEP MOVING FORWARD (KMF).

Today, the story is different for me. Now, I can remember that period with a smile and even laugh about it. I haven’t seen the Coordinator since then.  If I ever come across him, I used to think I would give him a piece of my mind, shame him somehow…but now, I think I would be too busy being successful to care.

Remember, K M F !

Have a lovely weekend Darlings!

PS: Feel free to share your own personal experience if you want, yours might be a lesson for me too.

Tie a Knot...Then Hang on.

Morning Darlings,

As I sat in front of my laptop this morning, I thought about what to write but only one word came clearly to my mind…HOPE.

So, I had this idea, instead of yammering on and on about hope, I’ll let us all garner what we can from the amazing stories below. However this touches you, whatever message you get from it, I hope it changes your life for the best.

I love you but God loves you more.

Have a blessed day My Dears!

HOT BUTTONS

Hello Dears!

If you’re close to me, then you already know how much I enjoy nature. So you can imagine how excited I was when I witnessed the rising of the sun this morning; at first, the burnt orange hues of the huge red ball, then gradually the shining golden yellow colour as the sun rose into the sky… then eventually got swallowed up by cloud. I’m waiting to see if it would appear again…in the meantime, it got me thinking.

‘Hot buttons’- Everyone has a hot button. There’s that thing/action that completely sets you off when people do it to you.

• a.       When you’re ignored.
• b.      Someone near you slurping their tea.
• c.       When you’re lied to/taken for granted.
• d.      Your favourite food wasn’t cooked with the right amount of pepper.
• e.      When someone cheats you.
• f.        The old pervert at the junction keeps leering at you.
• g.       When they wake you up before you’re ready to get up.

I can go on and on, it’s a never-ending list. You hear someone say “my pet peeve is blah blah blah, if you want me to keep being your friend/nice to you, don’t do it” or “Everyone knows that when someone does this, I can NEVER forgive the person”…  Human beings are Interesting.

Now, back to the rising of the sun. Can you step back a minute and take into account that the sun rises and sets EVERY SINGLE DAY since the moment God created it? (Well, except those times when we wake up to meet the rain. Still, we can be sure that the sun will rise). God makes sure our world is normal every day, He keeps the elements consistent for us, He gives us that sense of normalcy even though I’m sure we annoy Him on a regular basis; the things we do, the things we say, the way we act…imagine if He should tell you about His hot buttons, His ‘pet peeves’, His list of Don’ts,  let’s not even go there. Despite this, God has never stopped loving us, providing for us, guiding and guarding us. Even if it feels like He’s silent about a lot of things, doesn’t mean He’s not making moves behind the scenes for us, All this irrespective of what we do, how we act or what we say to Him (or those around us).

I want us (myself included) to climb off our high horses a little, get over ourselves for a minute and just learn to love, forgive, move on. Please don’t become that person that has an almanac of rigid rules and no one dares break them or they’re done-for. Chill, my friend, chill.  We’re only human, not perfect. I’m not endorsing bad habits, just advising you on how to deal with disappointment and hurt. You too never know who you might offend some day, and to what extent the offense might be.

While we’re at it, let’s also ask God for a child-like spirit, learning to take joy in the littlest things, grateful that we woke up today, singing, dancing, smiling and bringing happiness to yourself and everyone around you. You can’t spend a vast part of your adult life being the ‘King of Zamunda’ about everything. It’s a lonely place to be, only steals your joy. Know your hot buttons, but change how you react to situations or for how long you store up your anger about it.

The secret steps to a happy life; Love, Forgive, Move on, Be Happy.

I hope this is useful for someone, ‘cause it has blessed me greatly.

Have a lovely weekend My Dears,

*many many hugs*

 PS: Please don’t read alone, tell someone else about it. It might be the ‘medicine’ the person needs at the moment.