Anger, that pesky pest.

Darlings,

There is one emotion that, many times, turns even the smartest person into a fool.

What is Anger?  It’s a normal human emotion. But when it’s out of control, the beholder transforms into a ‘beast’.  It’s a terrible thing to feed, it turns your normally rational-thinking mind into mush and speaks only one thing to your spirit; DESTROY!

It’s an emotion that grabs you at your most tender spot, sink it’s teeth in and won’t let up until you have done some kind of damage; emotional or physical. Sometimes, the damage you do is permanent. It’s a nasty state to be in. It completely undermines years of self-discipline, learning, maturity, growth (physical and mental) and turns you into a zombie because at that time all you’re focused on is the reason you’re angry.

In essence, your mind is saying (in a robotic voice) “Slam, Maim, Shout, Vent, Push, Obliterate guilty person…Slam, Maim, Shout, Vent, Push, Obliterate guilty person”. It takes the special grace of God to come out of that zone when you find yourself in it.

The interesting thing is, most times (and if you’re being truthful to yourself), the reason you’re sooooo upset is quite flimsy. For instance; 

• 1.       “Who moved my shoe?! I’ve always told you people not to move my shoe! I like putting it in THIS place! Are you all mad?! Who moved this shoe?!” 
• 
  
  
•  ---- In this case, perhaps it has a lot more to do with transfer of aggression from what the real issue is. You’re upset about something else and looking for a scape goat to pile it on. Does this sound familiar?

• 2.       “Why did you cook the chicken with salt?! You know how I feel about salt?! Is this the first time you’re hearing it?! Are you slow?! What kind of stupid food is this?! Salt! for what?!” 
• 
• ----Yes, you don’t like salt. We know. But people aren’t perfect, they make mistakes. There’s a way to handle it than calling thunder, fire, brimstone, hails stones to come down on the person. Just like the situation above, this also smells like transfer of aggression. Be careful.

• 3.       “Why are you looking at me like that?! Are you crazy?! Who are you looking at?! You’re very stupid! Stop looking at me!!
• 
•  ---- Wow. Errr, you really can’t control how people choose to look at you. You also look at other people however you like. Stop trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill. Perhaps you should deal with the real issue. You’re upset about something else, internalize that, fix that, don’t draw out the battle guns on innocent bystanders.

I hear someone saying with a smirk “Yeah, whatever. These are petty stuff. People get angry at REAL stuff, okay?” Yes, okay, I know. But listen, whether you’re angry because of the BIG stuff or the SMALL stuff, it’s the same thing; Anger is festering in your soul and at the moment, your emotions are too high and in the bid express it, you mostly end up doing irreparable damage to yourself and to others.

It’s summed up in this mathematical equation; ANGER + OUT-OF-CONTROL EXPRESSION = DESTRUCTION. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to become a docile person for the rest of your life and let people ride over you because you’re trying not to be angry.  Anger is good for soul at times, It can be healthy too, we all need to find a way to purge negative feelings. I’m just warning you to be especially careful how you EXPRESS that sneaky emotion (Anger).  Because it’s at that point you’re feeling least logical and strategic, that’s when you need to watch yourself the most.

If you think about it, you might later realise the blame lies both ways. Instead of putting the blame completely on someone else and plotting how to thoroughly deal with the person, you might just realise you also have a 50% share in the blame.

To avoid feeling sadly regretful when all is said and done, try very hard to get hold of the situation at the beginning. I don’t know about you, but I hate having to say “if I had known, I wouldn’t have done this/that” or “I wish I hadn’t gotten so angry”. It’s a slam on one’s self-esteem.

Permit me to quote three Bible passages that talk about this;

Prov 14:17; He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated.

Prov 22:24; Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go.

Prov 29:22; An angry man stirreth up strife and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.

Be careful. Be watchful. Anger has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it.

In conclusion, if you find yourself really angry, if possible, walk away, choose to deal with it later when you’re calmer. If it’s not something you can immediately walk away from, whisper a prayer to God at that VERY moment to calm your spirit so you don’t do something you’ll later regret. No prayer that is too small or unnecessary, God hears them all. I’ve tried (I still do), it works.

Have a blissful week filled with joy, rejoicing and laughter.

Ciao Dears!