The One(s) Who Got Away

Have you ever been blessed with someone who adds so much colour to your life? No, not family members or ‘Significant Others’.

Someone who was such a blessing to you, who genuinely loved you, who you could always count on and rely on? Someone (or people) who had your back?

I’m sure if you think back, waaaayyy back to primary school even, at one point in time you had a true friend, a best friend (or best friends) in every sense of the word. That person who you could be genuine with, who you could open up to.

That person you had happy-go-lucky fun with before you started getting suspicious of motives or letting the issues of life dictate how you relate with people.

As an adult, it can be complicated to form true friendships (especially for ladies, you know what I’m talking about). I don’t think it’s because adults are naturally wicked or paranoid, I think you grow up, suddenly realise the world isn’t so ‘cut and dried’, discover you actually do need to work to eat (in some cases, two jobs), therefore maintaining friendship becomes another burden you really don’t want to add to your baggage, so you suck it in, watch genuine friends walk away and learn the 21^st Century art of making friends on-the-go (I.e. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram friends, ‘Hello-Hi-What’s up’ friends, ‘Longest time o’ friends). The worst are The Plastic Friends. Check out the scene below:

 Spider Man: Hello Captain, what’s up na? Longest time.

·         Captain America: Yes o, how you dey Spidey? There was a time I kept calling you, you weren’t picking my calls, how far?

·         Spider Man: Eh-hen? Sorry o, my phone had an issue one time like dat... sooo my guy, glad I 'ran into you' today. I’m having a 'small' birthday bash at my place this saturday. You must show o.

·         Captain America: Man, I don’t know…

·         Spider Man: No, you have to be there. Come and fun jo…and it would be nice to catch up on things.

         SMALL PAUSE.

·         Captain America: Ok. I’ll move things around. I’ll come.

·         Spider Man: Cool! Thanks my guy. See you on Saturday. Bye.

Yep, you guessed it. Spider Man SUDDENLY remembered Captain America existed when he wanted something; He’s throwing a big party and he’s aiming for a full house. Facebook posts have to be lit! or you want people to say Spider Man doesn’t have swag? Na lie!

It’s sad really. To think there was a time in your life you had friends or a friend who truly cared, who always reached out but somehow he/she got away, you watched that friendship die and all the while you told yourself  “I’ll call him/her later”, “I’ll find time to visit him/her”, “I’ll try and send a text by weekend”, or you just gave up and said “Whatever abeg! I can’t kill myself. If I don’t call her/him, can’t he/she call me?”

Trust me Darlings, if you continue down this road, you might just wake up many years later wishing badly you had taken that step to re-connect with that person. How wonderful it is when God blesses you with a friend who sticks closer than a brother. It’s rare to have one of those in your life, no man is an island, true friendships always come in handy.

You need to start building your circle ( a circle of people you can always rely on, which includes life partner, family members and friend(s) you trust) You will always need that circle, they are the ones you can fall back on. Stop harbouring/managing fake friends, it’s a waste of time. Reach out and re-establish relationships with people who added value to your life (you know the ones I’m talking about, not everyone is evil). Nurture good friendships, bad company corrupts good manners.

This month is almost gone but I’d like to give you a task and it might just be what puts a smile on your face for the rest of the year: Get in touch with the true friend you let go. Thank God for the internet, you can find almost anybody. Re-build that bridge, it’s more important than you gave it credit for.

One of the friendships I admire most is The Ben Affleck-Matt Damon friendship. These men have been friends since they were young boys.

Over the years, irrespective of their ups and downs, bad decisions, mess-ups (mostly having to do with Ben Affleck), they’ve stood by each other,

they always have each other’s backs, they support each other no matter who’s shining at the moment.

 In fact, it’s one of the best bromances in history (at least in my opinion). I pray their friendship continues to stand the test of time.

However Dears, take heed, some friendships that are gone are meant to STAY GONE. I have heard and found it to be true that when God shuts some doors, don’t try to re-open them, they are for your own good. So, take this step with caution, pray about it, let your spirit guide you.

Still, I hope all things being equal, you’re able to re-connect with the one that got away because there is beauty and joy when you have just one friend you know you can always rely on. Imagine if you had two?!

And if you find out you have none (for instance you’re surrounded by a bunch of hoohahs) don’t sweat it, send me a mail, I’ll be your friend.

Happy Reconnection Day Darlings!

Have a swell week!