'TWAS MY FIRST TIME

A few close friends know this story, but I want to share it with my newly expanded circle of great friends. I hope you glean something noteworthy from it.

You all know I’m a Writer right? If you didn’t, now you do. It’s what I do for a living, it’s what pays the bill.  I’ve had a very interesting roller coaster ride but I thank God for where He’s brought me and where’s He’s taking me to.

The story I want to share is about my first Writers’ Workshop.  A Writers’ Workshop:  Writers come together to temporarily live/meet in the same place, for a period of time, to brainstorm, create, develop and script stories for a particular media project; it could be TV, Radio or any other medium. Permit me if I don’t go into details of the many many things a Writers’ Workshop (aka Writers’ Boot Camp) entails, it’s not what I want to tell you about. (Interested in more information about Writers Workshop?  send me a mail, I promise to reply)

Back to our story: I had only started learning what writing, in its entirety, is all about. My script writing skills were still very weak, I was learning everything from internet research and trying to understand. Imagine my joy when I saw an advert on TV about a production company looking for writers, I sent a script as part of my application and I got a call back, they actually took me?! Rookie me?! I was over the moon! The world felt like a brighter and very beautiful place all of a sudden. I went in for an interview, it was quite brief, the Coordinator of the Workshop, a well-known name in the entertainment industry, was impressed by the write-up I had done and wanted me on the project. Amazing! I was good to go!

Fast forward the part where I share the good news to family, pack my things and arrive at the Workshop venue. I love making friends, meeting people, so I was fascinated by all the strange new faces. I got settled in the room allocated to me and prepared to learn all I can and have some fun.

The first work day of the Workshop? I learnt a lot, understood what was expected of me and figuratively rolled up my sleeves for work. I should have known it was about to go downhill and all because I didn’t ‘play ball’ with the Coordinator. I don’t need to go into details about ‘play ball’,  Y’all know what I mean right? Good. Moving on, the rest of the workshop days went like this:

A large group of writers seated together for a session.

Coordinator: Ronke, have you come up with a story for so-so character?”

*Me, happily gets up with my note book of ideas*

Me: I think it would be great if the character does blah blah blah and…

Coordinator cuts in before I’m through.

Coordinator: That’s very stupid. What a stupid idea, can’t you think? Didn’t you hear what I said yesterday? Were you even listening? (Dramatic sigh) Can anyone save us, so we don’t end up having a bad morning. Someone else please.

Now, everyone in the room is giving me weird looks, avoiding my eyes and stuff, no one wants to associate with ‘the castigated one’. The rest of the workshop, until the last week, was like that; I would give an idea, submit my story and he will thoroughly shut it down. The painful part was that others would suggest really terrible ideas, or not even suggest at all, and he would praise their efforts or encourage them. I knew why he was doing this, but I couldn’t just walk away and say “That’s it! No more!” I was scared to give up, I had just begun my career, I couldn’t afford to give up now so I sucked it in and bore it. I guess I was spared in the last week because his attention moved on to someone else, who welcomed the ‘relationship’.

It was painful. My first professional experience as a writer and I couldn’t seem to do anything right, my stories were not good enough, my ideas were constantly rejected, I started doubting my ability to even write, I started wondering if this was my calling. Did God really give me this talent or am I just fooling myseIf? I went through that, went back home and didn’t tell anyone about it. In my mind, if I talk about it, it would somehow mean I’ve failed. Then, I was still dealing with trying to convince my parents I was making the right career move, deciding to become a Professional Writer as opposed to getting a ‘real job’. So, when they asked me “How was it?” I smiled and said “It was great, I learnt a lot”.  After I went through a period of blaming God, I realised there were blessings too; that was where I learnt how to use screenwriting software,  it was where I promised myself I’d work very hard to become great at what I do.

What am I trying to draw out from this? In life, sometimes you have the best laid plans, so sure you’ve carefully checked everything, you’re taking the right step, Michael Jackson’s ‘You gotta be starting something’ is playing in your head and all that. Then, you take that long awaited, intricately planned step and …SPLASH!! You crash. It leaves you reeling, wondering what went wrong? Why? Was there something more you could have done? Did you miss the signs? Didn’t you pray enough?... My Dears, those questions? They just depress you further. I believe when things happen that way, it’s to make you stronger, getting you ready for a future you can’t see right now.

STOP BLAMING YOURSELF; for the wrong decisions that came back to bite you in the butt, for the right decisions that made an about-face and stabbed you in the gut, stop blaming yourself when things don’t work out. Stop blaming God too, if you knew what He had planned for you, you wouldn’t.  Just KEEP MOVING FORWARD (KMF).

Today, the story is different for me. Now, I can remember that period with a smile and even laugh about it. I haven’t seen the Coordinator since then.  If I ever come across him, I used to think I would give him a piece of my mind, shame him somehow…but now, I think I would be too busy being successful to care.

Remember, K M F !

Have a lovely weekend Darlings!

PS: Feel free to share your own personal experience if you want, yours might be a lesson for me too.